online diaries are the inverse of making friends in person
This is something I've been thinking about for a while now and reading Ava's recent post which is in a similar vein of thinking has prompted me to write about it.
Basically, title. Online diaries are the inverse of making friends in person. In the real world your name and face are known, and there is a risk with opening yourself up too much to too many people. People only know what you share with them. Whereas online it's the other way around—you can spill out your guts totally anonymously and only become known to certain people if you really want to be.
I suppose this is pretty obvious but I do want to mention why I think some people find great value in connections made online this way even if it's just through a text medium like email or discord. Making friends through spilling your guts anonymously means that the people you become friends with will already totally accept you. They've read your inner thoughts and your worries and your fears and the stuff you wouldn't readily share otherwise. So in this way there is no anxiety. You don't have to worry about what to disclose and what people will judge you for because online the ones who would be put off would just scoff and move on rather than choosing to interact with you.
There is a fellow bear blog user who I email back and forth with on occasion who also suffers from chronic pain. They sent me some kind words, just a sentence or two, after reading my depressing ass last post. It honestly meant a lot. In person I usually just don't mention my chronic pain to people and if I do I can't really be sincere about how terrible it makes my life. I'm 25 and I don't know anyone anywhere near my age who can relate to this. Receiving an empathic message from someone who is (has been?) in a similar situation is invaluable.
So yes, I do agree with Ava. I too wish I could have real human connection with the people who accept such an exposed version of myself (and me them). But the unfortunate situation is that making friends as an adult is hard and making close friends even harder. I have a lot of friends in person I don't think I'll ever feel truly comfortable fully opening up to. And unfortunately it takes a lot of time to get to the point of realizing whether or not I can.
Wish I could make friends in person like this. Maybe I'll make an app. Where you'll be able to anonymously spill your guts to other anonymous people in your city and then only reveal your true identity and meet up in person when you've accepted the other person's deepest darkest secrets. Lmao kidding—unless?