DREADFULS

pharmaceuticals, suffering

lack of sobriety

vyvanse and pregabalin for 2, 3, 4 days in a row

no more parenthesis in drug (ab)use

and somehow my psychiatrist who holds both an MD and a PhD

thinks this is a reasonable combination to take daily, forever

completely insane

a pharmaceutical speedball

somehow would be legal to still drive a car on.

an drug combo to consider medicinal...

unreasonable is not a strong enough word

though i know even personally a few heads

on even more extreme and dubious combinations.

modern psychiatry is mostly a sham

at least in the past drugs we marketed them as such: drugs

haven't heard? i can't attach a picture but go look this up

"barbiturate ad 1950s"

look at those functioning housewives!

now all our psych drugs: ssris, amphetamines, mood stabilizers

claim to simply restore a "disordered" patient

to pure normalcy

now we can all be normal!

i sure feel normal on 500 mg pregabalin and 35 mg lisdexamfetamine.


though diagnostic categorization can be helpful in certain contexts

especially for the more extreme disorders

schizophrenia, bipolar I, OCD, etc.

it classifies too many people into feeling diseased.

when in the past a patient may have come to therapy

saying something like

"i am shy and would like help opening up to people"

now they may say

"i have social anxiety disorder i need treated"

as if it's a parasite eating them from inside

or a disease that cannot be cured

forever broken

a person with a habit pattern that's very common

and definitely can be changed

now feels like they're broken

carrying a disease


feeling burnt out, though still extremely functional

a stable relationship of 6 years

multi instrumentalist

150k invested

in shape, regular exercise, sometimes skateboarding, bouldering

117 wpm typing speed

fashionable, i think

i read—as an adult!

sub 2 hr screen time

not even finding hollow knight silksong very hard

and a software engineering job—they're going to promote me

but few people understand the scope and scale

of extreme OCD and chronic pain with no clear source

though i try to explain it

even those with sincere intentions struggle to understand

when they haven't been here themselves


so many people suffering silently

another regular at my favorite coffee shop

told me recently that she got poisoned by carbon monoxide

and couldn't think for 2 years

until one day her brain "went back online" one day

probably this was mostly private suffering

and publicly didn't show many signs

my partner has idiopathic hypersomnia

an an eating disorder she keeps mostly in remission

only with active effort daily, hourly

and she wins awards

one in five of adults in the US suffer from chronic pain

and that's physical only

i bet at least half carry substantially suffering of some kind

so if you're in health

don't take it for granted.